Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
