yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
