so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
