I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
