i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
