My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
