tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
