ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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