it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
