just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize