Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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