Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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