i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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