Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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