Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
