Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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