speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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