I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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