you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
