I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
