i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
