No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Randomize
