Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
