i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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