I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
