Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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