I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
