I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
