I only kidnapped one of them. chill
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize