He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
