no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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