It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
