FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
it's like iHOP with fire
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
