Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
