Just cropdusted the office
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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