I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
