Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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