no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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