is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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