if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
