You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
