i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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