there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
