Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?

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(316): View more from Kansas

i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?

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(646): View more from New York

He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.

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(206): View more from Washington

After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.

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(253): View more from Washington

Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.

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(740): View more from Ohio

As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.

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(595): View more from

In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.

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(813): View more from Florida

He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...

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