Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
