Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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