UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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