I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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