He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
ugly people sure do ruin things
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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