so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
