me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
