you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
