Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize