you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
