You made me cry and you don't even care
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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