Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
