the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
