You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
