last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
