we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I need to align my fucking chakras
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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