They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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