I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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