We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
