so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
