Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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