pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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