Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
