he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
