is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
