Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
