then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
