then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
