My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize